A few jokes to get you over the week day hump:
Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he says, “Honey, my hands are freezing!”
She says, “Well put them here between my legs and that will warm them up.” He does, and his hands warm up.
After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says gain “Man! My hands are really freezing!”
She says again, “Well put them here between my legs and warm them up.” He does, and again that warms him up.
After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop wood for the night. When he returns, he again says, “Honey, my hands are really freezing!”
She looks at him and says, “FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, DON’T YOUR EARS EVER GET COLD?”
At the end of the funeral service the pall bearers are carrying the casket out. When they accidentally bump into a wall jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive.
She lives for ten more years and then dies. A ceremony is again held at the same place and at the end of the ceremony the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket.
As they are walking the husband cries out, “watch out for the wall!”
A boy takes his girlfriend home after going out together. When they reach the front door, he leans against the wall with one hand and says, “Sweetie, why don’t you give me a blowjob?”
“What? You’re crazy!”
“Don’t worry, it will be quick, no problem.”
“No!! Someone may see — a relative, a neighbor…”
“At this time of the night? No one will show up…”
“I’ve already said No, and NO!”
“Honey, it’s just a small blowie…I know you’d like it, too…”
“No! I’ve said NO!”
“My love… Don’t be like that…”
At this moment, the girlfriend’s younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown with her hair totally in disorder. Rubbing her eyes, she says, “Dad says either you have to blow him, I have to blow him, or he will come down and give the guy a blowjob himself, but for God’s sake, tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom!”
Before you go, I’m over at the Astraea Press blog with a recipe for chocolate cherry cake. It’s not a made-from-scratch cake, but it’s delicious, and…you might get a proposal out of it!
Stop by to see what I mean, and enjoy a new excerpt from my sweet romance, Worth Waiting For.
Use the Share buttons to pass along the jokes. Enjoy the rest of the week!